Ardith,
Hmm. At least he made it to our place first... [chuckle].
LOL.
Glad to hear that's working for you. It didn't work for a guy we
knew years ago... but then he'd eat three meals' worth of food at
dinner. :-Q
Today, I had 2 of the small dinners with french fries and chicken nuggets...260 calories each...and drank some flavored water. I don't
know if I'll microwave a TV dinner (beef pot roast, or turkey and the trimmings) or not. But, I hate to be a bad Sysop, and go to bed without
supper. :P
The thing is, I think they recommend a 2000 calorie a day diet...I'm
lucky if I've had half of that the last several weeks. I normally don't
eat breakfast, unless I'm up early for medical reasons, or to do a ham
radio license exam session. My big meal a day is lunch, then I eat a
light snack for dinner, if I'm so inclined. Otherwise, I drink flavored
water, and can drink 2 liters of that in a day.
wearing a tired old bathrobe I got a strange look from the first
person I met. But I was hemorrhaging, and she didn't offer to help
me do the laundry. Blood stains can be difficult to remove, as
anybody who's watched CSI knows.... :-)
My Mom hemorrhaged severely when both myself and my brother were born,
21 months apart. We both were delivered by C-section...not vaginally.
You are right...it takes a strong detergent to remove blood stains.
I think about the cartoon where this young boy was involved in an
accident, and he's peering out the Emergency Room Door..as the doctor
tells his Mom "Your son has been in an accident...and I have to tell
you..." (as she says to herself "Oh, no!!")...then, the doctor continues
"He didn't have clean underwear on". Momma is screaming "NO!! NO!!
WHY??!! WHY??!!" <G>.
AFAIK babies don't care who sees them au naturel, and a woman who
is about to give birth has other priorities too... [grin].
That's for sure. Being a widower, I know "we're the same from the back
side". <G>
The mothers of these girls almost invariably panicked, however,
when their daughters threw up. It often seemed to me that the
dresses got more attention than the humans who were wearing them.
That's one thing the little ones know how to do...barf/puke. :P That's
my weak spot...sympathy sickness. If I hear/see/smell someone gagging or vomiting, I'll do likewise in short order.
On another note, I remember one routine where the comedian noted "the
boys wearing their pants on backwards...rebelling against everything".
:P One time, I put a pair of long underwear on backwards, and didn't
realize it. My first thought was "CRAP!! They've sewn the fly shut"!! I
felt so stupid when I realized my error!! :P
Our daughter wore simple clothing which didn't require much upkeep
& which could easily be replaced, at little or no cost to us, with AH>hand-me-downs from a charity resale shop or from a friend with two
older boys.
I don't think my brother and I had "hand me downs". One couple of the
family (related to my late father's late brother), never took a suitcase
when they traveled. They had enough money (must be nice) that when the
clothes for them and their kids got dirty, they just bought themselves
new ones, and threw the old ones in the trash!! To me, that's a waste!!
mother informed me that this woman... who was scheduled for surgery
the same day... had spent an hour putting on makeup & painting her
nails, only to be told by a nurse that she would have to remove the
lot. Then she complained to my mother, but didn't like the answer.
I would guess not.
Apparently my mother said something along the lines of "With all that AH>stuff on how will the doctor know if you're turning blue?" Now
you know where I get it from. My chances of being the most glamorous AH>female in the morgue are slim to zilch... but my parents survived
to a ripe old age & I learned from them. :-)
Good for you and your Mom!! That is too funny. :D
I may have posted this awhile back, but it's worth repeating. One
woman had dyed her pubic hair green (what in the world was she smoking
or snorting??!!), and had a tattoo near her pubic area as a sign saying
"Keep Off The Grass". Well, she had to be rushed in for an emergency appendectomy (it would've gone into peritonitis, had it burst), and they
had to shave the area (bacteria LOVE to hide in any hair, anywhere). The
nurse, with an offbeat sense of humor, wrote on the woman's chart
"Sorry...had to mow the lawn!!" <BG>.
A retired nurse I know on Facebook, said when she was in a clinic that
did colonoscopies, that patients "paid her for permission to pass gas" afterwards. Well, after all that air is injected into the rectum and
colon, you have to get rid of it.
Too bad one can't use that in ones vehicle...or I'd buy a case of
Bush's Baked Beans, get the secret formula from Duke (it'd be another
one...the original dog passed away), and tell OPEC what they could do
with the gas prices!! <BG>. Gas was low as $1.85 in Little Rock for
regular gas, just before Christmas. It has since started climing again
<sigh!>.
Comedian Jeff Foxworthy noted after he had his colonoscopy (which he
came through with no polyps, etc.), the following:
"I went through career day in high school. No one told me that you
could get paid good money for rating f@rts on a clipboard. I've got
friends who do that all the time for free!!". He continues with "While
she wants me to do this, and I need to this...I raised in the
South...and my Momma taught me never to do that in front of a woman...especially in front of a woman you don't know".
In short "he locks up"...so, the nurse has him "assume the
position"...and he noted "What came out of me, was so loud, and so long,
that Fred Flintstone clocked out of work!!". He then asked the nurse if
he could go home, and she said "Please do!!" <BG>.
Plus, the animals flatulate, and look at you like "what's your
problem??!!". My late wife and I were otherwise "intimately occupied" on
the Futon shortly after we got married...and our dachshund was in his
bed next to it. All of a sudden, this horrid stench permeated our nostrils...the dog had dropped a methane bomb!!
I was practically gagging, and my wife was laughing uncontrollably,
adding "You know he's down there, going "Hee Hee Hee!! Ignore my @$$,
will you??"!! I had to get dressed and take the weiner widget out for a
walk. :P
Daryl
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